Q: I am a 65-year-old American who has been living and working in Europe — mostly in France — since 1972. Recently retired, I had always planned to stay on in Europe for a couple more years to enjoy my free time and to travel, and then to return to the United States. and live out my remaining years there. I’ve begun to wonder if this is even possible, mainly because I realize that I have no US health insurance, and very meager Social Security benefits there, whereas I am fully protected here. I am feeling almost desperate at the idea that I might have to stay in France forever.
A: The anxiety you describe plagues many long-term expatriates, but before you let yourself become overwhelmed by a total doom and gloom scenario, I urge you to explore the possibilities which do exist — availing yourself of whatever reciprocal agreements exist between the US and the countries where you have worked, as well as finding out what you can do to increase your protection in the States. AARO (The Association of Americans Resident Overseas) — tel: 01 47 20 24 15 — is a good place to start your inquiry, and there are also many resources on Internet which you should check.
You might also consider getting legal advice, as some lawyers who specialize in such matters may come up with creative solutions which would never have occurred to you.
I am struck by your use of the word “desperate,” and it makes me wonder what your fears are about staying here, and if there is some way you can start now to make getting old in France seem less scary. One way to approach this would be for you to take some time and make a list of all the concrete reasons you would like to return to the US.
You will probably find that some of the things you are looking forward to there cannot be reproduced here — for instance, having your children and grandchildren a stone’s throw away. But some of the items may be things you can obtain in France if you make it a project to do so.
Although you obviously adjusted to your professional environment, you might have neglected to create a network of personal relationships, or to develop leisure activities which enrich your life. The English-speaking community here is vibrant and offers both permanent residents and transients a vast array of opportunities to remain productive, develop talents and form friendships simultaneously.
If, in making this list, you come to realize that there aren’t that many things you’re looking for which can’t be secured in France, your fears of staying on here may relate more to nostalgia than with the reality of life in the United States. Your concept of life in the States is now 30 years old, and a visit of several months might help to correct any misconceptions you’re carrying around about how wonderful it would be to move back there.
Many expatriate retirees organize their lives around both places, living months at a time in each, yet fulfilling the residence requirements necessary to avoid forfeiting their benefits. In this way they remain connected to the major strands of their lives.
Meeting and networking with people will expand your own horizons about what is possible, and hopefully help you view the future with greater optimism.
Jill Bourdais is a psychotherapist practicing in Paris both privately and in a hospital setting. A specialist in couple/family problems, she also teaches PAIRS, a skills-building course in intimate relationships. Tel: 01 43 54 79 25. Questions for the Personal column may be mailed to the Voice, 7 rue Papillon, 9e, or emailed to her directly at JABourdais@compuserve.com
